Birds at 3:00 AM?

A bird pooped on my head.

Ok, so here's what happened. After a great night of dancing on the long booths offered at Sign of the Whale in Dupont Circle (golly those booths are fantastic!), well la-dee-dah, the bar closed. We all know it's shameful, but worth it to close down the bar. Honestly.

Anywho...so I'm walking outside and lo and behold! I feel a very light pressure apply to my hurr (aka "hair"). I do not like it when people touch my hair. Let it stick out in tiny pieces, let the wind make it fling in unattractive positions...let it be. I'll deal with it the next time i see myself in a mirror slash window. So, quite naturally, I was slightly alarmed. It also alarmed me that ...in my 3 AM, after a fun night of dancing stupor....the pressure felt very much like a light plop.

Casually, whilst chatting with friends and trying to hail a cab, I reached up onto the top of my head, almost as if placing a little stickout out piece back in. It should be no surprise to you, given the title and leading sentence of this post, that I felt good ole' nasty birdy poo. Yes. poo.

Answer this question for me: WHAT are birds doing at 3 AM at night??!?!??! Shouldn't they be sleeping...perched in their little nesties somewhere?! D suggested that it may have been a bat. And if that is the case....I'm disturbed. Let it be known that birds are my least favorite animal. With their wings and their beaks and their little webbed feet. And their disguisting, discolored poo that lands on the heads of innocent bystanders such as yours truly.

To avoid embarrassment about the whole situation, i casually yelled loudly about the bird, looked glaringly into the skies, and angrily and dramatically continued to put my hand in my bird poo hair in typical shaun nature. Makes TONS of sense.

Next time youre out, avoid birds bc apparently, they too, have digestive issues at uncanny hours of the morning...just like you!